A Detailed Review of the Nonexistent Hôtel Danceaux


Wherein I describe couch surfing at my friend's home for a week as if I had stayed at a hotel.


I arrived at Hôtel Danceaux late, around 9 PM. Checkin was acceptably fast, and I was in my hotel room minutes after arrival. The bed was thin but comfortable, and the sheets, though clearly older, were clean and comfortable. The room was decorated to resemble a French country home, and while it was nice to share the room with a rack full of vintage Belgian beer bottles (a novel take on the mini-bar, albeit entirely too expensive for anyone to take advantage of), the room had a tile floor that was cold at night.

One peculiarity of this hotel is that room service staff will try to let themselves into your room. One, dressed all in black, knocked repeatedly on the door, requesting to get in. When I finally opened the door, he immediately went under the bed to check for who-knows-what. I suspect there was catnip. This was persistent with two staff members in particular, and although they were quite friendly they nevertheless seemed interested mostly in looking into my suitcase and hiding under the bed. This may have to do with their being cats.

The shower was down the hall, and the shower head was a little low for my standards (6'2"), but the water was always hot and nobody ever bothered me in the bathroom. The hotel was mostly empty, so I did not have to share the bathroom with other guests.

The hotel managers were very friendly, and offered me complimentary drinks. This was fine, but encouraged me to a bit of excess at times. Being a little intoxicated when I went to bed at Hôtel Danceaux would be fine normally, but unfortunately my hotel room faced sort of east and caught the morning sun full force -- it was impossible to sleep past 8 AM any night during my stay.

In terms of location, Hôtel Danceaux is solid, situated just far enough away from downtown that traffic is not an issue, but a short drive to a variety of restaurants, bars, and entertainment. This alone would make Hôtel Danceaux an ideal launching off point for a tourist.

Overall, the experience was enjoyable, the hotel provided good value, the staff was friendly (albeit some perhaps a little strange), and I was able to get a good night's sleep.

4/5 Stars.